


Fill His Shoes

by Holtzy



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Angst, Archive warnings are to be put on every start of the chapter, Based on The 1975's Sex, Dubious Consent, Erin has a boyfriend, F/F, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Holtzy will have an ouchie, Infidelity, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-07 07:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzy/pseuds/Holtzy
Summary: Erin has a boyfriend, but he is never there for her; so, she has to suffer with her boyfriend-less situation. That's when Holtz comes to the picture and "helps Erin out" but in every other day, she always wants to be the "boyfriend".But Erin doesn't give that.--Based on Sex by The 1975





	1. This Is How It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> YO! I am back fellas! I think this story is going to be longer and better (maybe because there's smut) than Hinder! If you have listened to Sex, you'll know what's going to happen. Yes, you guessed it: Angst mixed with unholy smut. 
> 
> The smut isn't that all explicit, I guess - plus, I'm not that good enough. Maybe just okay. I'm sure the M rating can hold. I hope you guys enjoy this story! 
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: A plethora of smut here, but Dub-con in the majority of this story. If you don't like that, tread carefully.**

“I have a date.” Those words made her heart crumble down like debris after her lab mishaps. She knows that she can’t do anything about it, but this was hurting and she knows pain is never permanent. Erin just eyed her though, her face read that she wanted to elicit a reaction from Holtz. Instead of a verbal response, Holtz weakly smiled and nodded.

 

“Have fun,” she managed poorly, her words slurred and rushed. Erin didn’t mind anyway, she smiled back and uttered gratitude. And now, she was left with an unrelenting emotion in her, _jealousy._ Her head was searing and she had a tendency to lash out and yell at Erin that she should not go on that date. But why does she have any right to be jealous of her date? Aren’t they just colleague-friends? They aren’t supposed to share a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic, they’re better off as friends.

 

But she wants more than that.

 

And she knows that Erin couldn’t possibly give that to her.

 

Because she was straight and she wants a man in her life. Not a woman.

* * *

 

It has been weeks since Erin had her first date with Nick. Holtzmann met him once, only because he was a successful businessman who had hectic agendas and didn’t give enough time for Erin. As she shook his hand, she can feel a spate of anger rushing through her veins. Her first instinct was to lash out on him since Erin stated that he doesn’t give enough time for her, she also explains to Holtzmann how perfect of a boyfriend he is which just makes Holtzmann want to roll her eyes out.

 

Holtz is shallow and notices unapparent things that revolves around Erin. She never catches her wearing a scarf that may or may not be an indication that Erin and Nick had sex. She never catches Erin smiling ever since she started dating him. But still, Erin swears that he is still the most perfect boyfriend ever.

 

Holtzmann knows he’s not. He’s good-looking, he’s rich, and he’s smart. Apparently, that’s it. He can be described as perfect since he has those traits and abilities, but he is never the type to give enough time for Erin. Erin wants a guy who would be there for her at all times, but Nick was the wrong guy for that. Erin is suffering, but she doesn't show it. She shows it with a blatant smile and a firm shrug.

* * *

 

Erin arrives at the firehouse later than usual, her frown is noticeable accompanied with her posture and chin up. This usually means that she's irritated, at least only Holtz knows that. Abby, apparently, notices how bizarre Erin’s mood is today. She probably thinks that Erin has her period or is undergoing menopause.

 

“Hey Erin.” Abby sidles up to Erin’s desk, Erin isn't looking at her though. She exhales as Abby greets, she thinks it's best to retreat now.

 

“Hi.” Was the flat reply, Erin hunches her shoulders, ruining the perfect posture she had a while ago.

 

“This is still about Nick, isn't it?” Erin looks up to her, her gaze lowering, and she nods in response. She places her head on her hands and groans audibly.

 

“I almost got laid, Abby.” She makes sure to she keep her voice low, so that Patty and Holtzmann wouldn't hear. Unfortunately for Erin, Holtzmann could hear every vowel she speaks. “He was in my apartment last night, we were on the verge of stripping until his boss called him and says they have an urgent meeting.”

 

“Oh gross,” Abby mutters. Holtz stifles a laugh, making sure that Erin and Abby can’t know that she can hear them from the couch.

“Seriously Erin, I don't think this guy is right for you.”

 

“No,” she says acerbically. “I think I just need to give him time, but I'm seriously horny to be honest.”

 

Abby grimaces in response, she takes a step back away from Erin. “Gross, Erin. Maybe you should rub it out and get rid of it in the meantime.”

 

“I tried that. I haven't gotten laid in months, Abby. Months! You know how hard that is?”

 

“Well I haven't gotten laid in years. Years! Control it.” Abby nudges Erin’s shoulder as she turns to her heels and walks away. Erin sighs heavily, her frustration growing larger by the moment. On the other hand, she hasn't seen Holtz all day. Maybe Holtz can help her? No, that's ridiculous, they're colleagues. That's extremely inappropriate.

 

Holtz has heard it all. If she was being completely honest, she wants to manage Erin’s libido by ‘helping her out’. But at the same time, she’s scared that Erin might throw her off and get infuriated by her for offering such a lascivious proposal. So she doesn't say anything, unless they’ll talk coming to that point where it is safe to ask. Still, she can't promote infidelity and she wants to get over this stupid crush, doing this won't help.

 

“Holtz?” Erin calls, Holtzmann instantly rouses from her thoughts. She peeks her head ascendingly for Erin to see. “Oh. You're there.”

 

“Yes, my dear. I am here.” Holtz widens her eyes at her recent statement. “Oh that rhymes.”

 

“Were you here the whole time?” Holtz hears her heels clacking towards her, she preps herself for any kind of words to speak of. “Did you hear anything a while ago?”

 

“Sort of,” Holtz lies. Actually it wasn't really a lie, she somewhat heard whatever she and Abby talked about. She was somewhat far away from the desk, but she got the gist of whatever they were talking about. “Nick, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Erin droops her shoulders, looking completely miserable. Holtz thought she was the most lustful being she knows, until she knew Erin had a more unbridled libido than her. “He's amazing, but… he's always so busy.”

 

“Erin, honey.” Holtzmann almost wants to backtrack her endearment yet Erin seems like she doesn't care enough. “I think you deserve better.”

 

“No, Holtzmann. You don't understand.” Her heart clenches up from her tone, it sounds so blunt. There's a part of her that she knows she's right, Nick never gives time to her and it's only been months since they started dating. But there's also a part of her that knows Nick could do better and she should not bother because it's his job.

 

Holtz doesn't respond though. She averts her eyes from Erin and there is a long pause. Erin begins to think she has said the wrong thing and opens her mouth, but Holtz speaks first. “I just want you happy, Erin. I hope you know that.” Erin closes her mouth, her gaze lowering to the floor. She plays with her hands as she fidgets. Her eyes shoots up when she hears Holtzmann feet on the ground. “I'm going to the lab.” And she leaves, leaving a --fazed Erin standing beside the couch.

* * *

Holtz stomps in heavy steps on the way to her lab. She finds the first tool that catches her eyes — one of her screwdrivers — and she throws it forward. It hits one of her cabinets, causing a palpable dent. _Stupid, Holtz. Why did you say that? Now, she's going to think you like her. And she has a boyfriend!_ She leans her hands on her workbench as she takes a deep breath and removes her glasses to rub her eyes.

 

Tinkering always helps her with every problem she has to deal with. It is often a practical resolution, she has never met a person dealt with her problems before. Even Abby, no. Her tools and inventions has always been her best friends — even an intellectual like her — she considers her tools as her companions and basically human.

 

She tinkers on her proton pack for hours, checking every available upgradable part. She can increase its mobility, make it lighter that it's less risky to have back pain after busts. If only she can get the right amount of parts—

 

“Holtzy! There's a bust!” She hears Patty bellowed downstairs. She hesitates for a second, unsure what she just heard. Once she did, she runs through her locker and grabs her overalls. She hastily puts them on and she dashes to her proton pack that she has been tinkering not too long ago, grabs it along with her heavy duffel bag.

 

She uses the fire pole downstairs as she is greeted by Patty who takes off her proton pack to help her. “C’mon now, lemme help you with that.” Holtz expresses her gratitude, she is on the way outside but her track are stopped by a desolated-looking Erin walking towards the door as well.

 

They exchange lingering looks, without any words uttered, just the, staring at each other’s eyes. Maybe wanting to read whatever is going on with their minds, but they were soon interrupted with Abby yelling outside. “Holtz! Erin! Get your asses up here!”

 

Holtz is the first one to break eye contact, she bolts away from Erin and runs to the car — she had trouble running caused by her duffel bag — and goes inside the driver’s seat.

 

Erin follows tentatively, she fumbles on the car’s door handle but she is soon helped by Patty who is sitting on the other side of the car. “Jesus Christ, Erin.” Erin ignores, sitting anyway and putting on her seatbelt. “I don't know what's with you and your boyfriend, but what is with you today?”

 

Holtz simultaneously starts the ignition and eavesdrops their conversation. She can feel Erin not making any eye contact and shrugging in response. “You don't know? Really? Just don't it on the bust, please baby.” She concludes she's right, yet she doesn't really know what's with Erin today. Is it because of their colloquy a while back? It was meant as a completely platonic, endearing statement. It does not scream “FUCK! I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU LIKE I WANT TO MAKE INVENTIONS FOR YOU THAT SCREAM I LOVE YOU AND I WANNA FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT” — a part of her thinks it does scream — Erin is much smarter than that.

 

Holtz focuses on the road after that, not wanting to have any distractions to keep Erin… and the others safe from any accidents. She has Erin’s life in her hands.

 

The ghost was much like their previous busts. Class IV, non-benign, took them at least ten minutes to entrap it. The only thing that was uncommon was that Erin wasn't ecto-projected by the entity. Still, that didn't make Erin’s frown upside-down, maybe a little bit, but still no. Holtz shouted, “Yes! Erin G finally survived without being slimed!” Erin elicited a small smile without any effort, that's something.

 

“Hey Holtz,” Abby calls. Holtzmann is driving back to the firehouse with Erin in the passenger seat, so she can't make eye contact.

 

“Yup?”

 

“Can you take me back to my place instead? It's a little late for us to come back to the firehouse, don't you think?” It's quarter to ten, they have been greeted by a lot of traffic jams all over the way. Their bust was at least two hours ago, and here they are, still stuck in traffic.

 

“Good idea. How about you Patty?” Patty expresses her assent, saying that she has to feed her dog because he hasn't eaten since the morning. “Erin?”

 

“Oh yes, please.” She hears Erin say in mere proximity. She mentally shivers at the response since Erin’s voice sounded so raspy.

 

“Okay.” was the efforted response. Her words sounded so slurred, she hopes that Erin didn't notice. She didn't respond that may be or may be not an indication that she didn't care. She keeps driving though, she doesn't need this kind of distraction in New York City driving.

 

She drops off Abby first along with Patty. She states that she doesn't want to burden Holtz by making her drive to Bronx, Holtz tries to force her that it wasn't a problem.

 

“Holtzy, I don't want you driving me fifteen miles with a lot of traffic around. Plus, you have Erin with you. I don't know why you're forcing me.” Holtz concedes. The main reason she was forcing Patty because she doesn't want to be alone with Erin, and Erin lives in Upper Manhattan which was seven miles away. She was supposed to be first to be dropped off instead of Patty.

 

“Fine,” she says stridently along with an exasperated sigh. “Be safe, you two.” Holtz doesn't give them time to respond, she closes the car window, and drives away. The radio is off, so the only sound that is audible is the engine roaring. Erin isn't making any sounds, Holtz is too exasperated to start small-talk. But she knows it won't hurt, she wants to be feel connected to Erin anyway, in love or not.

 

“So…” Holtz starts, Erin shots up to look at her. Holtz takes minimal glances because she prioritizes the road. “You and Nick, huh?” She inwardly wants to slap herself, it wasn't a good conversation opener.

 

“Yeah. I'm guessing you heard what I was ranting this morning. We almost had our first sex, but you know—he was distracted by another business meeting.” She thanks God above because it's dark outside, so Erin can't see her cheeks becoming pink. She isn't expecting that as a response, looks like Erin wants to talk about Nick in this place.

 

“Oh, that's horrible. So what are you going to do about it?” Holtz says it with a teasing tone, so she sounds like the typical white best friend.

 

“I don't know, Holtz.” She shrugs. Masturbating is a practical solution, but nothing can beat actual copulation. “How about you?”

 

“What?” she exclaims as she stomps on the brake before she can hit a car in front of her. They lunge forward because of the impact. Erin sends out a slap to Holtz’s arm, she winces. “I'm sorry, okay?”

 

Erin sighs exasperatedly, “How about you? If you were in my place, what would you do if your partner isn't present for sex?”

 

“I'd say masturbate, but it's a temporary solution. Maybe fuck your friends?” She widens her eyes — apparently, even Erin has her eyes wide open — aware now that she had said the wrong thing. She quickly backtracks, “That was a joke, sorry. You know I don't like infidelity.”

 

“When was the last time you got laid?” Erin veers from the last topic and asks this instead. Holtzmann had a handful of one-night stands — well, that was before when she met Erin, everything had changed and she had met Erin almost a year ago.

 

“Almost a year ago, I think,” she deadpans, not that she didn't care that she has survived a year without coming with someone. She deadpanned because she doesn't want Erin to know she's suffering. “Things changed. I had multiple partners — sorry to say — but I decided to change.”

 

She only changed because she wanted to be with Erin and maybe get married with her.

 

“Wow, you went through a year without sex?” Erin sounds so surprised, it doesn't surprise Holtzmann.  She's even as surprised as her because Jillian Holtzmann, without sex? It's almost implausible.

 

“Uh-huh. Surprising, right?”

 

“Yeah. Wow.”

 

The car falls silent after that. It's only within minutes before they arrive to Erin’s apartment. Holtz silently hopes for another traffic jam, so she can spend time with Erin more. Maybe, just maybe. Now, she doesn't know if she wants to celebrate that her crush and her just discussed about their sex lives. It's a step, but she knows she'll never be with her.

 

“Almost there,” Holtz mutters just to take a break from the silent car ride.

 

Erin smiles. “Yeah.” Holtz stops at another red light, no other cars in sight. There's no chance of hindering their way to the apartment, even how many had Holtz hoped for it. “So, you're gay, right?”

 

Holtz raises her eye at the question. “Yes, proudly. But my sexuality doesn't really define me. I want people to see me as one of them, but a nuclear engineer with an almost perfect GPA. Not one of them but gay, you know?”

 

“Oh, but that's not I was aiming for. I was going to ask how's sex with other women.” Holtz feels her cheek combusting, Erin Gilbert is asking her how it is to have sex with other women. Is she curious now? Does she have a chance? Oh, she can't be that ridiculous.

 

“No offense, but both people come.” She snickers as she glances at Erin, who was glaring at her. “But seriously, it's amazing. You haven't tried?”

 

“Haha funny. And no, I never tried.”

 

“What? You never experimented?”

 

“Why? Have you ever had sex with a man?” she comebacks. _Touché._ Holtz purses her lips and silently laughs.

 

“Hah, no. I'm a gold-star lesbian,” she says, Erin raises an eyebrow. “Gold-star means that a lesbian has never had sexual intercourse with a human male.” Erin gives a vague ‘Oh’. “Yeah, so I guess we're even.”

 

She arrives, she finds a safe parking to pull over. As she pulls the handbrake, she looks at Erin and gives a sly smile. “So, here you are.”

 

For a moment though, Erin just eyes her. She swears that Erin just looked at her lips then back up her eyes again. “Here I am.” is an unexpected response. Holtz waits though, her eyes still glued to Erin’s. They linger at each other’s presence, unsure what to say or do.

 

“Erin, is something wrong?” Holtz asks, causing Erin out of her stupor. She blinks twice and shakes her head. “Well, if there is you can—”

 

She is interrupted by Erin’s sudden pull on her collars, smashing her lips to hers. Holtz is unsure what to do of this, _Erin is fucking kissing me. Oh my God._ She thinks that Erin will pull away at the heat of the moment, but she doesn't. She continues to brush her lips with Holtz, her grip getting tighter on her collar. _Jillian, don't kiss back. Don't kiss back. She has a boyfriend anyway._ To her dismay, she kisses back furiously; she envelops her hand on her head, pulling her closer. Her tongue attempts to delve inside, Erin accepts the offer though; eliciting a moan. She fumbles on Holtz’s buttons, unable to unbutton them.

 

“Holtz…” she breathes, pulling away from the kiss. “Bedroom… now.” Holtz hesitates, really not sure if this is the right choice. But the other part of her mind battles her conscience, stating that _it's Erin, dude. You can go fuck her brains out and she'll like you even more than her boyfriend._ To her dismay, that other part of her brain wins the fight. Holtzmann nods, pulls away to exit the car. She fumbles on the car keys which is located on one of her belt loops. Erin hastily exits the car and slams the door, grabbing Holtz shoulders and kisses her again.

 

“Erin, you tease. Let us enter your apartment first then we'll continue,” Holtz pulls away and waggles her eyebrows.

 

“Fuck, no. I want you now,” she whispers seductively as she leans in again. Holtz thinks it's the hottest thing she has ever heard, just that mere tone makes her panties toast.

 

“Self-control, honey. Self-control, first.” Holtz pulls away as she holds Erin hand to guide her inside. Erin groans, now half-running and half-walking to the elevator. Holtz follows her, clicking the close door on the elevator. Fortunately, there is no one present besides them inside the elevator; so, Erin grasps her shoulders then pins Holtz to the wall and smashes their lips again. Holtz moans in response, she will try to enjoy every second of this.

 

The elevator doors are soon opened, they are lucky because no one is waiting for the elevator on her floor. They pull away for a moment to walk to Erin’s apartment, Erin fumbling on her room keys. After a series of attempts, she manages to open the door. She furiously pushes Holtz inside, flinching from the momentum. Once again, she grasps her shoulders and — tries to be gentle — uses Holtz’s body to close the door. It afflicts pain, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is that Erin is so very much horny right now.

 

She attempts to unbutton Erin’s jumpsuit, her fingers shaking too much for her to unbutton them. She still tries though, she has considered herself as a multi-tasking expert; so, she has no problem in simultaneously tonguing Erin’s mouth and unbuttoning her jumpsuit. Erin pulls away to shimmy down her jumpsuit, Holtz’s eyes widens at the sight of Erin half-naked, only wearing a bra and a panty. _No time, huh?_ It is Erin’s turn to strip Holtz, she tentatively unbuttons her jumpsuit; Holtz just stares at her, admiring the view in front of her. As of now, she still can't believe she is about to have sex with her so-called crush and she doesn't know if she wants pursue this further.

 

Erin finally finishes unbuttoning her jumpsuit; Holtz gets off of them, revealing the shirt she was wearing this afternoon. Erin grimaces at the sight, “Well, you weren't expecting this, aren't you?”

 

“What? Was I supposed to?”

 

“I don't know,” she purrs. “Were you supposed to?” Holtzmann whimpers, she never opted Erin as a teasing type. But boy, she wasn't disappointed.

 

“Fuck, Erin,” she breathes. Erin leans in again, kissing her more tenderly. Holtz places her hand on her neck, pulling her closer.

 

“Oh, you're doing that.” Holtz moans in her lips, she feels Erin smirking.

 

She can't wait much longer. This is unsettling and ardent at the same time, Erin has a boyfriend but at the same time, she has a huge crush on her. Definitely not a win-win. She is riding her libido train and Erin wasn't helping that at all. Her other hand grabs Erin’s waist and the other hoists behind her knee, hoisting her up bridal style. Thanks to months of lifting power tools and inventions, she can easily carry Erin to her bedroom. She gently –– with a mix of feistiness –– lays Erin down on her bed.

 

Erin is growing so impatient, she yanks on her collar and pulls her closer like she did in the car. Holtz immediately deepens the kiss, now eliciting loud moans from Erin that shakes her to her very core. After years of having a spate of sexual partners, Holtz slides one hand behind Erin and deftly unclasps her bra in one swift motion. Erin just has to pull away and compliment her, “Impressive.”

 

“I practice.” Then she leans in again, kissing her mouth first before training it down to her neck. Erin gives her space by canting her head sidewards, Holtz takes a while to probe for her sensitive spot. She licks her pulse, making Erin throw her head back and elicit another set of moans. While she sucks on her pulse point, she slithers down one hand to her panties. Erin jerks at the sudden touch, making Holtz smirk. She rubs small circles over the fabric, Erin’s back arches. “Wow –– we’re really doing this, huh?”

 

“Mhm.” She bites her lip and nods, trying to restrain herself from bucking her hips to increase friction. Holtz stops kissing her neck and proceeds to trailing kiss over her still-on bra, she uses her other hand to pull them up, then leaning in to gently lick her erect nipple. “Oh my God, Holtz.” She benignly sucks it, alternating each nipple in inconstant intervals. She removes her hands on the fabric and slides it in, Erin whimpers as Holtz rubs it her bare flesh.

 

“Holtz,” Erin breathes, her breathing turned into slight wheezes.

 

“What can I do for you, sweetheart?”

 

Erin bites her lips and closes her eyes before answering, “Eat me.”

 

“Can do.” Holtz obliges and gives her a two-fingered salute, then kisses her stomach down to the fabric. She gives it a gentle, but deep lick that makes Erin shout her name. She grasps the hem of the panties and pulls them off. She inhales because of the beautiful sight in front of her. It takes her a while admiring every bit of Erin right now, and she thinks it’s the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. It takes her ten seconds before she leans in.

 

Suddenly her thoughts of being too dubious with this vanishes, every thoughts at the back of her mind are gone. No more conscience shouting at her, berating her that this is not the right choice. Only the moans and whimpers of Erin fog her hearing. Erin’s body is the only thing left, as if she is losing consciousness already.

 

Maybe she is, or it came by in a sudden blur.

 


	2. Take Your Shoes Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were weird, but were soon compensated for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for wait guys! School started three weeks ago and we already had a speech. I guess this is what it feels like to be a senior. Anyways, pray that chapter 3 will be published sooner than 2, because omg school. I appreciate all the kudos and the comments, guys! I'll reply to your comment with a joke if I have a chance ;) hope you guys enjoy! It's only the start of this wild ride.
> 
>    
>  **Warning: Dubious consent again. The majority of this fic will be dub-con, by the way.**

It's the latter. Everything has came by so fast last night, she barely even remembers she had made Erin came three times. After Erin has gone to sleep, she rouses from her bed, grabs her shirt and overalls, and exits the building. She did this out of guiltiness, knowing that things might be weird if she stays the night or things might fall down when Erin finds out she left. She is more anxious about the former, she doesn't want to be involved in this blatant infidelity. Not to mention, Erin was the one who initiated it, but at the end she knows that she'll always be the bad guy in the story. 

 

Her eyes flicker open and the first thing she sees is her even more bedraggled hair and hastily discarded spectacles in front of her face. She barely remembers the events of last night, leaving it at Erin’s loud moans and… her oh-so beautiful body. Holtzmann subconsciously licks her lips at that thought. She rouses from her unmade bed, her cheeks brushes over a damp spot which is her saliva. Her mouth utters any word constructed, checking how her mouth smells like the typical aftermath of eating a girl out. But this is something different for Holtz, this is the smell of Erin’s femininity. Definitely different from other girls. 

 

She’s still anxious about what’s about to happen later at the firehouse. She contemplates whether or not to come to work today. If she doesn’t, Erin might smell something fishy. If she does, Erin might smell something fishy. She is at a lost.

 

She goes anyway.

* * *

 

She arrives a tad late than usual. Even if it’s just a tad, Patty seems to notice her. Her eyebrows both raises as Holtz gently closes the firehouse door. “You are not so early today, Holtzy.”

 

“Sorry, Pat-babes.” She tries her best to disguise her inner, real voice fighting inside her mind. Her anxious and stammering voice that only comes up when she lies and when she is talking to someone preeminent. 

 

“Busy night?” 

 

“Kinda,” she immediately mutters back. The safest response available right now. She doesn’t want anymore questions, so she heads on to her lab. She ascends a little slow –– unlike her usual, vigorous leaping every two steps –– she takes one step at a time, both of her feet present at every one step. 

 

She doesn’t want to think about anything remotely related to last night. She doesn’t want to hear her voice, her name, or see her face. But boy, she was too wrong for that. Just as she reaches the threshold of her lab, she sees Erin standing straight-up, her arms both crossing, her face tilting a tad to her left, definitely waiting for Holtz. 

 

_ Shit. _ If she can only find a window and run for it, she would be running right now, but for now, there is no escape. “Hey.” She manages a smile and a wave. It seems so weak that Erin doesn’t even try to smile back.

 

“Hey?” She reiterates, her voice raising with anger. Holtz gulps, she feels her head already sweating. 

 

“I’m sorry, Erin. It’s just so awkward for us to do  _ that _ . It’s unprofessional and you have a boyfriend––”

 

“Okay, okay. We’ll talk about this later,” she interrupts and she abruptly leaves the room. Holtz stands there, unsure what to expect next, because she definitely wasn't expecting that at all. 

 

* * *

 

 

Erin leaves a baffled Holtzmann behind. She wasn’t thinking straight –– literally and figuratively –– at all, she doesn’t know what Nick will say about this if he ever finds out. But let her look at the facts here: Holtzmann is nothing more than a friend and a colleague. 

 

Because it’s totally normal to have sex with your friends when you’re taken, right?

 

Plus, Erin knows she’s straight as an arrow even though she is absolutely certain that she had the best sex of her life last night. Holtzmann wasn't kidding that both people come and lesbian sex is pure amazing. 

 

She wants to do it again. But she doesn’t know if Holtzmann will be up for it like last night. It doesn’t hurt to try though. 

 

“We’ll talk about this later.” Was another word for ‘Let’s fuck again later’, at least that is for Erin Gilbert terminology only. She thought her libido will stop hankering for sex, now it became worse. And the only person that can fuck her right now is only Holtzmann. 

 

And even as an intellectual and a woman who has a doctorate in Physics, she knows this is not infidelity. 

 

Definitely not. 

 

It's completely normal.

  

* * *

 

Holtz stays up all afternoon, tinkering again. Her mind full of theories and speculations what will happen later with Erin later that day. As she has stated, she is not a fan of infidelity. Erin is cheating, straight or not. She doesn’t even know if she wants to endure this painstaking, but amazing situation. She has fervent feelings for Erin, she doesn’t know how to say no. 

 

She isn’t focused on her dual proton pistols. She was supposed to increase its power safely, but right now she is absent-mindedly splicing the wire. All she can think about is Erin and Nick. Especially Nick. 

 

Nick could end her entire career, if she wasn't mistaken. Nick is rich and can probably bribe the whole government. And he wasn’t the kind of boyfriend to mess with.

 

“Holtz! Lunch downstairs right now,” Abby bellows from downstairs. It’s 2 pm. Was it really lunch time? But she goes with it, all this Erin deliberation is making her hungry –– in both ways.

 

She ceases her tinkering and goes downstairs via fire pole. The four are all gathered around in the main couch downstairs, a four-cheese pizza placed on top of the coffee table. They seemed that they have been quiet for a while. “Hey sistahs!”

 

“Oh, hey Holtzy,” Patty mumbles, eating the pizza in small bites which is unusual. Patty usually eats in huge bites in every food she indulges.

 

“What's up? Why are you all quiet?” She asks as she wanders around to find a certain set of eyes. Once she does, she stares at them intently; one eyebrow is raised with a hint of anger in those eyes. Holtz gulps, she speaks again, “Um— what's for lunch?”

 

“Pizza, and I need a ride,” Erin mutters acerbically, making Holtz’s knees weak. She nods in reply and clenches her jaw in anxiety. 

 

“Let's go.”

 

* * *

 

The car ride is disconcertingly silent. Erin has that frown and furrowed eyebrows for the past couple of minutes. It was too unsettling for Holtz, she doesn't even know where they were going.

 

“So—” her voice cracks midway, she pauses to clear her throat. “Oh God, sorry ‘bout that. Where are we going anyway?”

 

“Anywhere,” she mutters flatly, making it more unbearably perturbing. 

 

Holtzmann drives anyway; rounding over Times Square two times, not minding one but about their gas. 

 

“What we did was my intention.” Holtz abruptly glances at her, then back again to focus on the road. She doesn't say anything, because she knows she'll continue. “My libido kept on increasing and increasing and my boyfriend doesn't give time for me and I don't want to cheat on him.”

 

She raises an eyebrow at that, basically what she did last night is considered cheating. She still doesn't speak a word though. 

 

“But last night was amazing.” At least that one makes her mouth curl up a little bit. She is aware that she is a connoisseur on sex, not that she wants to brag about that or anything. “You were right. Lesbian sex is amazing—or at least, if it's with you.”

 

“Thanks,” she mutters flatly, halting her elated words before they explode. “It was amazing, indeed.”

 

She side-eyes her, she is smiling and she knows it's a real smile. It reaches over her ears and she is even giggling a bit. “Let’s eat.”Holtz’s dirty mind hovers around that phrase. Erin can see right through her and she shakes her head. “Ew. I mean with food, Holtz. Gosh.” She lightly punches her shoulder.

 

“Hey! I'm driving!” Erin mumbles a “sorry”. “But I was thinking food, too!”

 

Erin rolls her eyes, “Whatever you say.”

 

* * *

 

Holtz parks on a secluded alleyway, it was the only parkway at her favorite restaurant/bar. No one was around in the parkway since it was 6. Usually people come here on 9 at night. Again, it was a restaurant slash bar.

 

“Is this a dyke bar?” Erin asks, Holtz is locking the car. 

 

“Maybe.” She shrugs, Erin smiles and shakes her head in response.

 

“Of course, it is.”

 

“But hey, the food here is really good. You never tried?” 

 

“No. I've never been in a gay bar so…”

 

“Then brace yourself for the best ribs in New York City!” Holtz throws her arms up, emphasizing on her elated state. Erin just chuckles and they both enter.

 

And the first thing that Erin smells is the scent of alcohol and burning. Not the typical restaurant she eats with Nick or with her friends — at least when she was still in Columbia — which are usually five star restaurants. Shs rarely eats fast food, even though she loves them endearingly; so, it won’t be a problem for her when she tastes Holtzmann’s recommended ribs. 

 

Holtz escorts her to a table, she lets Erin sit first before taking a seat for herself. A waitress follows them and hands each of them a menu, Holtz waves at the waitress. “Darla! Hey! It’s me!”

 

“Holtz, hey! Long time no see. You haven’t been around in almost a year, I’ve missed you,” the waitress greets her back with a pensive smile, she rubs Holtz’s shoulder as she greets. “What’s up?”

 

“Hectic work stuff, that’s what’s happening. Right, E?” Holtz looks at Erin who is fiddling with her phone. Erin looks surprised since she merely jumps at her seat at the unexpected call. 

 

“Oh. Yeah, we’re very busy.” She states whatever she has heard in their exchange, not knowing what they were talking about. 

 

“Oh, is this your girlfriend?” Holtzmann raises both of her eyebrows and mimics a flinch, she laughs though. 

 

“No, Darla. This is my colleague, Dr Erin Gilbert.” Darla elicits an acknowledged hum and extends her hand to exchange a handshake with Erin. They shake hands then Darla switches back to her waitress state. 

 

“What would you like, you two?” Darla grabs a pen and a notebook from her pockets, now eyeing them both.

 

“The usual, but make them two.” She winks at Erin which doesn’t fail to make her blush. Darla writes it down, nods, then leaves for the kitchen. “You’re going to love these ribs so much, my dear.” 

 

“Let’s see.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh my God, those were the best ribs I’ve ever tasted in my life!” Erin shouts on the way to the car.

 

Holtzmann chuckles and nods. “What’d I tell you, huh?” 

 

“We should eat here again. How come you’ve never told us about this?” Holtz’s smile falters at that statement. She never told anyone about this place only because she doesn’t go here anymore ever since Erin came to the picture. She needs a safe response to reply to Erin, before she detects anything fishy going on her mind right now.

 

“I didn’t want to share it to anyone.” An immature response, yes. She thinks it’s the most safest response available.

 

“Wow,” Erin mutters, thinking that these were the kind of ribs to be sharing with your closest friends. 

 

They arrived at the car, Holtzmann fumbling on her belt loops to unlock the car. Once she does, she opens the door for Erin, being a complete gentlewoman to Erin. She gets inside after, noticing that Erin isn’t fastening her seatbelt on. She decides not to bother with it as she fastens her seatbelt on. She turns on the ignition which turns on the car radio, it was playing a barely audible, romantic sound. 

 

Erin still isn’t moving though, probably thinking of whatever motive she is about to do right now. Her eyes are never ceasing to stare at Holtz’s. And she suddenly gets deja vu with last night’s event as Erin leans over Holtz, removing her glasses and puts them somewhere safe, gently pulling her to her with her jacket’s lapels, and capturing her lips with hers. Holtzmann couldn’t say no, because she can’t. She wants to say no, but this is Erin. She has to do this. Holtzmann kisses back, her hand enveloping on her hair and pulls her closer. Erin moans, never failing to turn Holtzmann ever more. The blonde pushes the red button to eject her seatbelt, she slowly takes it off, guiding it with her other hand but she doesn’t stop kissing Erin. She puts her hands on both of Erin’s shoulders, pushing her back to her seat along with her body. Erin moans again, her tongue nudging on the blonde’s bottom lip. 

 

Her left hand searches for the lever that reclines the seat; once she does, she slowly guides Erin down with the seat. After that, she focuses back on kissing Erin. Erin nudges her leather jacket to be discarded. She shimmies her jacket off, stops kissing Erin for a moment to remove most of her clothes, at least unbuttons most buttons that she can, because she misses kissing Erin already. She unbuttons four buttons on her blouse, leaving Erin to do all the work after that. What she does instead is to unbutton Erin’s jeans and slides her hand inside. Her back arches as her hand makes contact with her folds, Holtz rubs small circles as her tongue nudges on Erin’s lips. 

 

“Take your shoes off,” Holtz whispers softly between kisses. Erin obliges, her feet flailing to remove her shoes. “Nice.” She stops kissing her, her other hand fumbling on her blouse’s buttons. She manages to unfasten them fully, she slides them open to reveal a purple bra underneath. She wheezes, Erin is definitely the most beautiful person she has ever laid her eyes on. “Did you know that you're beautiful?” 

 

“I didn't know.” It was barely a hard whisper, it was too soft that it makes Holtz’s spine shiver. 

 

“Now you know.” She captures her lips again, her other hand discontinuing its last mission, now removing her pants fully with both of her hands. After that, she removes her blouse and she strips her jeans off along with her underwear. She lays on top of the brunette, propping herself up with her arms as she stares at Erin’s eyes. 

 

She stares at them because right now, she still isn't sure that she should continue doing this to her. Especially that the fact that her boyfriend doesn't know and the fact that she is falling more and more to an attainable person. Erin rouses her from her stupor by pulling her closer with her hands on her neck. They kiss again, Holtz suddenly stops thinking again. She places her hand on her breast and massages them gently. 

 

She subconsciously starts to grind her hips on Erin’s core, eliciting another ardent moan from Erin. Her pace is slow, too slow that it's not even called fucking, more like making love, but Erin’s moans are impossible to be inaudible outside of the car. To give her more pleasure, she slithers her hand down and inserts one inside her. Her moans volume increase and she thinks she's about to faint.

 

But the truth is, Erin is just making her drunk in sex. 

 

Her fervent thoughts are at the utmost back of her mind again. The only thing she hears are Erin’s moans surrounding her eardrums.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> That's the first chapter! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and makes my day! Thank you!
> 
> Oh by the way, did I tell you school is about to start here so my updates will be SO SLOW, but don't lose hope! I'll still be here, making Holtzbert my second priority! 
> 
> See you soon guys!


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